"You."

I wish there were more eloquent words I could scrounge up, but all I have is "I miss you." And this "you" carries so much weight because it's not just one soul, and not just one thing. It's the experiences, the attachment, the distinct voices, faces, the places we went to, the things we said, the things we never got to say and meant to. It's imagining what would've been if "loss" hadn't intercepted our paths, good and bad. It's re-learning how to move and talk and act like myself, all the while knowing I'll never be able to turn to you and share things like we did. It's wondering when the pain will go away and how that will ever happen, and what it will feel like to forget because this is what the mind does. It forgets so that pain can no longer latch on there...which will be wonderful, but will also break my heart when I can't remember the details of "you." "You" left me with a lot to bear: loss, love, rage, strength, wisdom, hope, emptiness, betrayal, insight into myself. "You," or at least one of you, knew me so well. I never knew. I've spilled angry words, bitter tears, outrage, fond memories, jokes, last words, and sheer confusion as to how all this negativity and sadness hasn't done me in already. I guess you were right when you said I was strong. I knew, but I've forgotten in all this mess. Now I'd like to move on and continue to carry "you" with me, but only one of you please. You both taught me well, taught me things I won't forget because they've already changed me in innumerous ways, but only one of you deserves my memory and my heart. "You," on the other hand, can kindly leave now.