Heedless yet somehow still overburdened

The view from the passenger seat on the way back home from Ocean City, MD. Now, if only I had taken a picture of the ocean...

Sometimes "nothing" is the best thing that can happen.

It's easy to appreciate the moments that are clearly enjoyable or eventful, but it is better to recognize that life is the present moment we are living and each moment is to be savored, good or bad. Life is not the past nor the future, but rather it is every moment in which we are immersed and alive, and it is our responsibility to be in those moments always.

Yesterday was one of those days. Perhaps it was uneventful by some people's definitions, but for me it was nearly perfect. I trekked to another borough in search of some seriously soulful pie and then meandered around an unknown neighborhood until I stumbled upon a park. I sat on the stairwell and just took it all in: the clearness of the skies, the sound of conversations and little kids running around, the electric green of the trees and the grass, the breeze...bubbles floating by...as much as my mind and eyes could take in. It was one of those days where every moment seems to last an eternity because I had fallen so deep into exploring and existing in it. Upon rousing out of that state, I looked at my watch and realized only a short time had actually passed--just a handful of minutes--according to the clock anyway. But that doesn't exactly matter; it is only significant and worth noting because it reminded me what each moment of life is. Moments are unknowably deep and marvelous things, simple and yet more complex than we can probably ever understand. It's just a shame that we are, more often than not, too distracted to notice that.

And just for fun: Waka Waka!

Thank you Mr. Stevenson, you successfully defined my life.

"There is no duty so much underrated as the duty of being happy." -Robert Louis Stevenson

That could not sum up my life's work/perspective/insert-appropriate-adjective-here any more succinctly or precisely than I could ever hope to.

The final days...well, kind of.

Finally, after 18 or so years, I will no longer be a student. Work-wise, school is done; according to FIT though, I have one more course to go. But, after the mess these last few weeks have been, I can get through just about anything at this point. So, I'm not completely free of school--summer school awaits. Womp. Womp.

There's been quite a lot happening lately, besides getting myself and everything together for graduation. On a positive note, I've been hired as a part-time educator for CMoM, so I'll be with them for a little while longer. Should be good times :] Hopefully I can find something a bit more permanent soon...

And the secret is out--I know how to paint! Or, more specifically, I haven't forgotten how to. Dare I say I think I actually like it now...? o.0 I never used to be a fan of painting--paintbrushes always felt chaotic in my hand for some reason. I'm very glad to have taken the traditional techniques in the fine arts course this semester...I think it reignited something.
These are some pictures of the final project for the class--an oil painting on a gold leaf/gilded panel. ((DASH would be so disappointed...photographic references! Gah!))

Goodnight.

Our body's fit together like a makeshift puzzle/
And it's clear to see why you puzzle me

Good v. bad, if such things exist.

Very much in binary thinking mode, but this weekend I saw the best and the worst that people can be and do--myself included.

I realized the awful effects that lust/desire can have--that and how it can interfere with/cloud genuine feeling and love.

I also saw the opposite of that dynamic: love minus the interference of physical desire.

I saw an ((apparently)) unwilling/unintended mother neglect, endanger and, abuse her child while others looked on and mocked the scene.

I saw a stranger move across a crowded train to reach out to someone clearly unable to care for themselves and ensure their safety and well-being.

I saw acts of selflessness, chivalry, and selfishness, all in the course of a few hours.

There's so much, so many things that happen in various instances throughout the day. One moment you can be losing hope in humanity and in the next, you see something that restores it. It's half a matter of what we choose to perceive, and part pure observation and openness to as many moments as possible.
Something ((besides myself)) that speaks to that: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tara-stiles/how-to-be-happy-5-simple_b_558379.html

Eres candela, in more ways than one.

"What is it about fire? So calm & peaceful but inside, all power & destruction. It's hiding something. Just like people do. Sometimes you have to get close to find out what's inside. Sometimes you have to get burned to see the truth."

Speaking on my behalf

Shuffle...

We always know...

The timing of things always amuses me, because it's either completely awful or eerily spot on. This is something I was reminded of this past weekend, and oddly enough it speaks to both the awful and "psychic side" of my timing:
"Indecision is an unconscious camouflage the mind uses to keep from meeting a situation."
The situation it relates to is upsetting, but I'm happy to have come across this thought again because it really helped put it all in perspective...

We always know the truth or answer. But most of the time we lie to ourselves or fall into a denial because the answer is not what we want to hear and that's when the "I don't know's" start. But there it is, the truth, plain as anything and yet completely obscured behind our inner voice and desires. When things seem at their most tricky or difficult, it's most likely our own doing instead of the situation itself. I guess admitting the truth is never easy, even if we're only admitting it ourselves.

Seeking refuge in a song...